Love is love

Your son loves dolls and your daughter loves trucks, does this make you a bad parent?

Does your bread taste different because your Baker practices a different faith to you?

Do you have to stop eating meat because your neighbour is vegan?

Do you ask your surgeon their sexual orientation before they save your life?

Will you be taxed more if you have a gay accountant?

Do your children still learn the alphabet and how to do math if their teacher loves the same sex?

Does having dark skin prevent you getting married?

Does having Blonde hair prevent you getting married?

Does being a criminal prevent you getting married?

How would you feel if someone told you that marrying your spouse was wrong. Not allowed?

How would you feel if your neighbour “couldn’t cope” with what you do in your home?

How would you feel if the country decided who you could marry.

I don’t believe I should choose someone’s husband or wife.

I don’t believe it impacts me at all how any other person lives their life.

I don’t believe I am superior to any other human

I don’t believe I can say No and be a good human

I don’t believe in supporting hate

I support equality for all

I believe love should be embraced, and celebrated.

I say Yes!!!!!

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Announcement: Ladies of Brisbane!!!

Apparently America heard of our shortage of eligible, employed bachelors and decided to ship 4500 men in uniform over to our shores to love, worship and marry us all… better hurry in and snap one up before the ship sails

Edit- sorry ladies, in all the excitement I muddled up love, worship and marriage with alcohol, hotel rooms and accidental pregnancy whoops!!

Who's keen? 😉

Chosen

 

While watching one of my much loved reality shows during the week (Married at First Sight), one of the conversations by one of the most hated men on our televisions at the moment got me to thinking.

The said discussion took place at a family dinner and he (Anthony), mentioned his “wife” Nadia had insecurities about him not “choosing” her. For the few of you that don’t watch, the relationship experts choose the potential love interests of the participants.

I actually really resonated with this point he made. There is nothing better than being chosen. Chosen by the person you love, chosen by friends and loved ones, chosen for you – the amazing and fabulous person you are.

To be chosen by someone you also chose is the dream, your most wanted end goal. To feel secure.

Feelings are scary things. It takes a person really secure in themselves to open themselves up completely to another person. I find many men (and women) aren’t sure of how to communicate their feelings, or aren’t willing to jump into a deeper level of emotion because of fear.

Ultimately fear can be an enabler to your success or failure in life or love. We need to be a little bit scared but also take a chance. So many facets of our fears create our inner insecurities. Imagine not having the control to pick your life partner.

Forever questions of do they find me attractive? Do they enjoy my company? Do they love or even like me? It would be deafening in your head. Waking next to a stranger and hoping tomorrow will be enjoyable and not awkward. Hoping to discover some joint interests and common ground.

It’s so empowering to have the gift of choice, sometimes way too many that the decision processes in so many aspects of our lives are endless. But to be chosen by someone is so special.

So many cultures do not have this luxury. They are often sold to a husband, handpicked by their parents or elders. They don’t have the opportunities to be selected by their special someone. As much as prearranged marriages are at times successful- these people (male and female) miss out on the excitement of being chosen by their soul mate.

Knowing that someone has picked you out of the many potential suitors to call their own forever, is an incredible thing. They have done this, no need for doubts and questions, no one else to blame, they chose you, all by themselves.

The excitement, elation, love and security within your relationship is set on a beautiful foundation of mutual

The gift of choice is an amazing luxury we have. We should be focusing on how honoured we are to be chosen by these great people- out of everyone they chose you.

Side note.. if you’re as obsessed with MAFS as I am, join Romance Reality Shows Australia on Facebook for the goss on everything relevant in the Aussie Reality world- trust me, you’ll be hooked xx

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mafsaustraliafans/

Husband Requirements PART 2

I want a real man. 

Is that even a thing these days?? 

I feel like people in general are of a shallow nature, showcasing their outer physical attributes rather than their deeper real self. 

There seems to be an abundance of men that look like they are characters in a cartoon. Gym selfies and mountaintop pics is every second profile pic. (They may be the perfect man, but I overlook these images) Is this really portraying who you are? As much as physical attraction is very important, the photos placed in these profiles can be the portrayed in a different sense. I look at some, and they are gorgeous men, clearly very dedicated to perfecting their bodies, pictures of pure fitness (and very nice eye candy), but they make me uneasy. I automatically feel every spare moment of theirs will be filled with bettering their bodies and nothing outside of that. 

Then, there’s the drunken group shots. Bottles of beer, spirits and the like, 5 or 6 men pulling faces, having a great time but it’s not really portraying a man that wants grown up lifestyle. Have fun, always, but these to me are pics for your friends, not ones to find a potential love interest. 

There are beautiful shots of men with family, their muchloved pets, and uninhibited, unexpected snapshots of them living their real lives. Sitting at a desk, mowing the lawn, playing with children, relaxing at the beach. These are the pictures I want to see. When someone’s eyes are lit up talking to a loved one and has a random, unposed photo taken it shows more about them as a person. I think it’s beautiful.

I want deep. A man that fills his profile with words. Explanations of what makes their blood run hot or cold, what are your passions, your goals, your dreams and relationship expectations?

I want someone who is completely transparent, and honest. Someone whom is not still discovering himself. Someone who knows how to treat people right, but is strong enough not to be walked over. 

Strength in themselves, standing by their choices and decisions, not needing another person to make them whole, but wanting someone to take this life journey along side them.

Someone that respects family and a family lifestyle above their own selfishness and wants. 

Someone that is passionate about me and life. 

Someone that’s not afraid to feel and feel deeply, intensely and passionately.

Someone that knows how to make their dreams reality- not just talk about them.

Someone generous with their time and knows how to make a relationship a priority.

Someone that is ready to have joint goals. Who is there to build up their partner, and who is wanting a partner to also help them achieve their dreams. Together you can conquer so much. 

It’s going to take someone really special to alter my single status. 


Soul Searching for Inner Empowerment 

Throughout the years I’ve done a lot of soul searching. Searching deep into the minds of those I surround myself with, my clients, partners, myself.
I find it incredible how different experiences alter a persons mindset and perspectives, and how situations can give one person strength and cause another to sadly crumble. 
I love stories of empowerment. Not everything is meant to break us, albeit one path will always lead to self destruction, we also have a choice of strength and happiness.
One of the biggest things I have realised over time is how reliant on material things, status, or others everyone is becoming. So many people destroy themselves because they rely on others for every aspect of their lives. The NEED for acceptance, love or attention is so strong that it takes away from themselves and who they really are. There is always going to be someone with a bigger bank account, flashier car, better body or higher paid job. But no one is you.
The key to your happiness is in yourself. No one else can contribute to that until you are at peace with your internal you. Once we stop questioning ourselves and comparing our lives to that of others we become grateful and focus on our own personal needs. 
I have been at forks in my road so many times over the years. Bad choices, bad partners, stupid decisions. Each time I’ve sunk into a glass is half empty mode I do not allow myself to live there for long. My life is to live and is much to short to stay down in the dumps.
I’ve realised the key to my happiness and being fulfilled in my life, is to not rely on others to create my joy. Move on from toxic energies and mindsets and reach deep into myself to discover what will lead to my ultimate success. 

What I classify as success, will be completely different to you. What brings me happiness isn’t the same for everyone else. My journey isn’t reliant on others or comparisons, in my opinion it’s a waste of my minds energy to focus on what I don’t have. I’d rather focus on what I do, and how to better myself for me- no one else.
Be proud of you. Own your own decisions and create your personal bubble of happiness for YOU. Conquering your own negative thoughts is empowering to your soul. 

Finding my feet as a solo mum 

I have always lived in a beautiful bubble of fantasy. Growing up I was always dreaming of the day I met my knight in shining armour, getting swept off my feet in the most romantic way possible and living happily ever after in my house with the white picket fence, having a tribe of gorgeous babies and the perfect husband. I always thought I’d end up with a man like my father. Hardworking, generous, a loving dad whose wife and children were ALWAYS at the forefront of his priorities.Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to fall pregnant at 19. Not only pregnant, but unwed with a man that life was never going to allow me to work out with. 

This was just not done in my family. Everyone was married with children, divorce was unheard of and everyone did live happily ever after. I thought this was the way my life was also supposed to be.

Motherhood was such an amazing experience for me. It was so natural and immediate- I knew I was meant to be a mummy. The joys I felt and continue to feel are paramount to any emotion I had ever felt in my life.
After a tumultuous relationship, I became a Solo mum by 21. I had so many emotions filling my head. 

1. Failure, I couldn’t believe I didn’t make this work. I never wanted my child to come from a broken home, I’d never experienced it myself and was terrified of the outcome for my precious child. I was scared it’d be at her detriment. Had I failed her by not sucking it up and living a lie.

2. Embarrassment, I felt completely judged by everyone. The young and dumb mother ruining her life. How was she going to handle this and who was going to have to take the reins and help me out of this mess. I was so worried about people waiting for me to continue failing and what they were saying behind my back- sometimes even to my face.

3. Fear, was I capable of this task? Was I strong enough to raise a child alone. How could I live, how could I afford this responsibility, and would I do it right? 

4. Am I a good enough mum? This question still pops into my head. 

5. Sadness. I was grieving what was, and trying to emotionally deal with everything happening in my heart and head

6. How could I do this on my own?
I moved back with my parents for 3 months to wrap my head around what was my new life. I managed to get a parttime job, and saved up enough to rent a cute little cottage nearby to them. In my first few weeks of living in this house I had an epiphany. It was a night we both got food poisoning – the WORST kind. One bathroom and both of us fighting for the toilet like it was the last piece of cake. It was a disastrous evening. Trying to be there for her when she was ill was so hard when I was also needing to hug the toilet bowl.

In this moment I realised I needed to teach her everything she needed to know to survive. I had to make sure she was capable of feeding herself, cleaning up after herself, and had the skills needed that if I was out of action for whatever reason, she could function.

I was so blessed that my daughter was always so mature for her age. Everyone always would say to me that she had been here before, she was so soulful. She really was/is.
We took to our new lifestyle as a team. Yes, she was still a toddler, but so amazingly independent she could be helpful.

We started living such an organised, routined life that everything started to fall into place without too much daily stress. 

We would wake and she would help prepare breakfast. Within a few months, she would actually get up and have a piece of fruit, pour her own cereal and get herself dressed. I could get ready for work, give her a cuddle and sit down to my coffee and a chat with her before our day started without ripping my hair out.

Then we moved on to sandwiches. They honestly looked like she had taken to a loaf of bread with a chainsaw, ripped apart and butter, jam, vegemite usually all over the kitchen – but she could do it. She was always so proud to make me a sandwich and I was always happy to indulge in her creations. Don’t get me wrong, I loved making her lunches and breakfasts but I needed to know she could also fend for herself if I was sick.

Weekends consisted of us sharing the housework. (She would often create more mess, but was trying) 

We got to a stage where, she could sweep the floor, I’d mop. She’d dry the bathtub when she’d get out, I’d use the chemicals. She would check the letterbox and remind me of bin day. It was great.
She was my rock and I was hers. I got so much of my strength from her stubborn and motivated nature. If I got stressed about money, courts or even work, she’d say “we’ve got this mummy.” And if she fell, bumped her head or needed guidance I was there for her every need.
We were closer than ever and bounced off each other’s emotions daily- it wasn’t fun if one of us was in a bad mood, but we even learnt when to give each other space and when we could be in each other’s bubbles. We both had our quirks and needs. I hate confrontation- yet she automatically brings her issues to the surface. She is so super calm, yet has a fiery temper when it decides to flare. I am quite highly strung – happily or not, I can take on any situation without giving away my feelings, hers are written all over her face. We are both incredibly stubborn, strong, sensitive, emotional and capable.
When my brother passed (her Uncle), she managed to brighten everyone’s days. The words that would come out of her mouth provided so much comfort to everyone- where did this 3 year old come from.
One of the biggest things I’ve always wanted was my daughter to feel for people. I never wanted her to have a selfish outlook on life. We are all accountable for our actions and emotions. She is very much like this. It is so beautiful to see even if someone tries to drag her down, she tries to see every situation from their perspectives.

I’ve always had a completely open conversation policy with her. If she asks I answer. Some of the topics I never thought would need discussion, however I feel being open now will avoid secrets and lies later in life. I never judge what has come from her mouth- it is my job to ensure she knows things correctly and what level of knowledge she has.
When I bought my business, this little angel took the reigns and everything we did needed both of us to make our lives work. I had to be on the ball to make sure I always had quality time balanced into each day, and she developed the understanding that at times the business had to be a priority in order for us to be financially able to survive each week. Even my clients loved seeing her each day. The last 2 years of having the business she developed so many people skills, could make teas and coffees, could sweep the floor and help me count the till. (She could have run it better than me lol)
As our lives have developed together over the years, I’ve realised being a solo parent wasn’t as scary as I first thought.

I don’t worry at all what others think of me. People still judge the relationship we have, and the conversations we have. I know she will be well prepared for her adult life and some of the situations we have been in haven’t been ideal, however together we get through whatever this crazy world throws our way. 
This insightful little human has taught me so much about myself as I have taught her. We can conquer the world. It has been an honour growing up together with her by my side 

Aftermath – who is the real Villain

Who would’ve thought one little post of positivity could have become such a crazy web of lies, deceit and ultimately exposing a cheater.

My whole world was turned upside down overnight because of this “supposed” sweet gesture.
Yes, I wanted to share a lovely sweet story to the world,(we don’t have enough happy tales in our everyday life at the moment) did I expect it to turn into this, no.

I must say, this has shown me a lot about human nature, and I’m quite devastated at people’s reactions. I’ve been annihilated for sharing a happy experience. Wow.

Was I to know when I received the letter there was others?
Was I to know he had a girlfriend?
Was I to know he is clearly incredibly deranged?

No.

I’m actually no victim here at all, his beautiful (ex) girlfriend – and perhaps others are. This is a man that has mislead many and ultimately has broken people along the way to satisfy his own crazy, selfish needs. He is the villain in this story.

I actually am glad he put this note on my windscreen. Now I am thrilled he has been exposed. Let’s hope this stops his sick games.

I am a romantic at heart. This doesn’t deter me or change my opinions of all men. He was just a very bad egg.

Thankyou to everyone that did read the facts, and my friends and family- you guys are the best x