Chosen

 

While watching one of my much loved reality shows during the week (Married at First Sight), one of the conversations by one of the most hated men on our televisions at the moment got me to thinking.

The said discussion took place at a family dinner and he (Anthony), mentioned his “wife” Nadia had insecurities about him not “choosing” her. For the few of you that don’t watch, the relationship experts choose the potential love interests of the participants.

I actually really resonated with this point he made. There is nothing better than being chosen. Chosen by the person you love, chosen by friends and loved ones, chosen for you – the amazing and fabulous person you are.

To be chosen by someone you also chose is the dream, your most wanted end goal. To feel secure.

Feelings are scary things. It takes a person really secure in themselves to open themselves up completely to another person. I find many men (and women) aren’t sure of how to communicate their feelings, or aren’t willing to jump into a deeper level of emotion because of fear.

Ultimately fear can be an enabler to your success or failure in life or love. We need to be a little bit scared but also take a chance. So many facets of our fears create our inner insecurities. Imagine not having the control to pick your life partner.

Forever questions of do they find me attractive? Do they enjoy my company? Do they love or even like me? It would be deafening in your head. Waking next to a stranger and hoping tomorrow will be enjoyable and not awkward. Hoping to discover some joint interests and common ground.

It’s so empowering to have the gift of choice, sometimes way too many that the decision processes in so many aspects of our lives are endless. But to be chosen by someone is so special.

So many cultures do not have this luxury. They are often sold to a husband, handpicked by their parents or elders. They don’t have the opportunities to be selected by their special someone. As much as prearranged marriages are at times successful- these people (male and female) miss out on the excitement of being chosen by their soul mate.

Knowing that someone has picked you out of the many potential suitors to call their own forever, is an incredible thing. They have done this, no need for doubts and questions, no one else to blame, they chose you, all by themselves.

The excitement, elation, love and security within your relationship is set on a beautiful foundation of mutual

The gift of choice is an amazing luxury we have. We should be focusing on how honoured we are to be chosen by these great people- out of everyone they chose you.

Side note.. if you’re as obsessed with MAFS as I am, join Romance Reality Shows Australia on Facebook for the goss on everything relevant in the Aussie Reality world- trust me, you’ll be hooked xx

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mafsaustraliafans/

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Husband Requirements PART 2

I want a real man. 

Is that even a thing these days?? 

I feel like people in general are of a shallow nature, showcasing their outer physical attributes rather than their deeper real self. 

There seems to be an abundance of men that look like they are characters in a cartoon. Gym selfies and mountaintop pics is every second profile pic. (They may be the perfect man, but I overlook these images) Is this really portraying who you are? As much as physical attraction is very important, the photos placed in these profiles can be the portrayed in a different sense. I look at some, and they are gorgeous men, clearly very dedicated to perfecting their bodies, pictures of pure fitness (and very nice eye candy), but they make me uneasy. I automatically feel every spare moment of theirs will be filled with bettering their bodies and nothing outside of that. 

Then, there’s the drunken group shots. Bottles of beer, spirits and the like, 5 or 6 men pulling faces, having a great time but it’s not really portraying a man that wants grown up lifestyle. Have fun, always, but these to me are pics for your friends, not ones to find a potential love interest. 

There are beautiful shots of men with family, their muchloved pets, and uninhibited, unexpected snapshots of them living their real lives. Sitting at a desk, mowing the lawn, playing with children, relaxing at the beach. These are the pictures I want to see. When someone’s eyes are lit up talking to a loved one and has a random, unposed photo taken it shows more about them as a person. I think it’s beautiful.

I want deep. A man that fills his profile with words. Explanations of what makes their blood run hot or cold, what are your passions, your goals, your dreams and relationship expectations?

I want someone who is completely transparent, and honest. Someone whom is not still discovering himself. Someone who knows how to treat people right, but is strong enough not to be walked over. 

Strength in themselves, standing by their choices and decisions, not needing another person to make them whole, but wanting someone to take this life journey along side them.

Someone that respects family and a family lifestyle above their own selfishness and wants. 

Someone that is passionate about me and life. 

Someone that’s not afraid to feel and feel deeply, intensely and passionately.

Someone that knows how to make their dreams reality- not just talk about them.

Someone generous with their time and knows how to make a relationship a priority.

Someone that is ready to have joint goals. Who is there to build up their partner, and who is wanting a partner to also help them achieve their dreams. Together you can conquer so much. 

It’s going to take someone really special to alter my single status. 


Fantasy and realities of uniformed men 

The image of a uniformed man, is enough to make most women weak in the knees. The ultimate fantasy.Whether it is the powerful hero saving you as the damsel in distress fantasy, the uniform (or removing it) fantasy, or just the fact he must be damn amazing to protect the country, communities and us fantasy, the reality is, it is super sexy.

Are you cut out to actually be with one though?
Dating a man in uniform is a huge honour and responsibility.

It takes an incredibly strong and self aware person to take on this rewarding, yet hard role.
Be it military, police, firies or any other emergency response team, as exciting, sexy, intense and adventurous it may be, it comes with an element of fear. Fear for their partner, fear for their lives, fear from their families and fear for their country.
These sexy heroes see things, do things and feel things we in the normal world can not even begin comprehend. They have their secrets that they keep close so they do not scare or hurt the ones they hold so dear. Can you understand the silences and inner pain he may be holding on to- to save you from worry.
They work long, crazy days, shifts or are often away for days, weeks or months at a time. You will never be far from his thoughts. They need to know their loved ones feel secure when they leave. It is just as heartbreaking for them to go to work at times and leave their precious partner behind. Are you able to provide him with the love and trust needed to keep his mind on his very important job, so he knows you are happy?
They may feel lost and alone, and struggle to cope with the horrible daily truths of their job, but they will love you all the more for supporting and loving them. They feel bad they cannot always be there for you- another stress for them, and yet when they are, your man will not disappoint.
Dating/marrying a man in uniform means being with a man of loyalty. If a man can put his life on the line for his country, imagine what he will do for you.

HUSBAND REQUIREMENTS Part 1

I have been single on and off for 10 years. I’ve dated, I’ve had small relationships, I’ve been madly, deeply in love. I’ve been shattered and painfully heartbroken. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, beaten up on and taken for a ride many times.
There’s been Tinder, POF, Eharmony and plenty of other time wasting sites. I’ve tried bars, libraries, cafes, parties and weddings.

After many a blind date, kiss or message, the never-ending search for my knight in shining armour continues..

It’s getting desperate, time is running out. Family have given up on my wedding, friends always have me as the third wheel to date night, The body-clock is ticking and I am considering purchasing bulk cats now (lord, help me)

I am almost convinced that men of today want quantity of women, not quality. That the world is so disposable, there is no need for commitment as there’s always another girl waiting for her right swipe. Not me. I am hopeful for my man with the same intentions and big heart that I have. 

So I’ve decided I am going to do several posts of my future husband requirements, (then, to find him) 

Here is the first…

WANTED 

1 honest, caring, family orientated GROWN UP male. (If you have a Lego/toy collection, give silent treatment, throw tantrums, lie or are still figuring out what you want to be when you grow up, please do not respond) 

This said GROWN UP male, will have no commitment, mummy or mental issues.

He will be ready for adult activities, including, weekends away, restaurant dinners, glasses of wine, day trips to different locations, and adventuring around our beautiful country. (Pizza doesn’t count as a date) 

This special GROWN UP male will NOT ride motorbikes, or participate in illegal activities

Since he is a GROWN UP, he will work hard in his career, but be balanced with his downtime. Has set goals for his life and has already achieved some.

This GROWN UP male will not lie and pretend to be someone he is not

He wants to have children and be a hands on full time parent

This GROWN UP male will be kind, loving, funny, calm and caring. He will have a huge heart that loves his family, be centered, fun and stable.

This GROWN UP male will be man enough to realize mine and his own value. He Will prioritise his time, put the same level of effort into me as I do him, and be proud to have an amazing, strong, hardworking and sarcastic woman on his arm. 

If you have made it to the end of this profile, tick all these boxes,and realise the satire in some of my requests you must be amazing and I can’t wait to hear from you. You will be rewarded with a coffee, a chat and a hope of a happily ever after.

I’m looking for a serious contender in this game of love.